September 11, 2009

What people say in court

Actual quotes from the courts:

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: Did you blow your horn or any­thing?
A: After the acci­dent?
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
Q: Doc­tor, before you per­formed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.

Q: Did you check for blood pres­sure?
A: No.

Q: Did you check for breath­ing?
A: No.

Q: So, then it is pos­si­ble that the patient was alive when you beganthe autopsy?
A: No.

Q: How can you be so sure, Doc­tor?
A: Because his brain was sit­ting on my desk in a jar.

Q: But could the patient have still been alive nev­er­the­less?
A: It is pos­si­ble that he could have been alive and prac­tic­ing law somewhere.